i'm getting bad

It's been a while since my last post again, so let's catch up to speed on what has happened.

• I slept with the hockey player. We both knew that it was strictly sex, and it was great. Lots of firsts for me that day... TMI but we showered together, and I tried anal for the first time. 
• I started dating Football Guy (still no names ;) ), and we hit things off very well. He even introduced me to his parents and took me to a Wings game. But, weirdly enough, he completely stopped talking to me a week after that. Haven't heard from him since. Was I upset? Sure. That's such a shitty feeling.

But, the Marine is back. 

Yes. It's a tease but I'll take it.

A couple weeks ago (same night of the Wings game), I heard from him. Very casual chat. It's been casual since then, and I may be adopting his dog. It's either I take him or he gives him to a shelter. So since I'm on the house hunt, I've been keeping him in the loop. 

A few days after, I brought up the fact that I went from thinking I would never think I'd talk to him again to now adopting his dog. It's strange. We talked about the new girl that happened... I was honest with him and told him it was hard for me to see that, because I felt he lied to me. In layman's terms, he didn't want to take me to NYE with him because he didn't want to lead me on... He said he did start to like that girl but she didn't want a boyfriend, and he didn't want a girlfriend. So, they broke things off. Makes sense to me. Shitty to hear, but I love honesty.

A couple nights ago, we were casually chatting again and he was telling me how he was spending Friday (Valentine's Day) with his grandma. So, before going to bed, we had this conversation:

Have fun tomorrow with nonna

Thanks, I will. Hit me up if you're out this way

Well I actually have a hair appointment like right around the corner from you at 5 tomorrow

Cool, well give me a shout. I'll be around

And my hopes were obviously were up all day, but of course on guard. Once I got to the salon, I shouted like he said.

Hey

Hey what's up?

Just got to the salon, wbu?

Just at home. About to cook up a storm for dinner

Oh that sounds nice. Whatcha cookin?

A lot of stuff. The crew is coming over for dinner so it'll be a feast

Oh cool! (obviously, I was so heartbroken because that means no more me...)

Yeah should be a good time. I'm starving

I'm jealous!

Why? Aren't you coming over?

My heart stopped. He wanted me to come over. I knew that seeing his friends again would be difficult because he brought that other girl around them, and she was after me... So, this is awkward.

I went over there and he still makes me feel like I did a couple of months ago about him. I wish I didn't, but I do. Immediate butterflies, but I kept my cool.

After he cooked up an amazing meal, me and the other two girls drank a double bottle of wine (I drank most of it.. oops), and him and the boys easily went through a case of beer. The crew left around midnight, and it was finally just me and him. I wasn't going home that night; I drank enough to get away with driving, but why risk it? It's Valentine's Day, after all.

We went to bed and I noticed as he was adjusting his covers, he was getting closer to me. I got the same idea and did the same. Next thing you know, his lips were on mine. And I was not going to fight it. Of course, one thing led to another. Not sure if he plotted this, if he really wanted me, or if it was just the beer in him. Either way, I woke up at 11:30 this morning with my Marine laying next to me.

The shittiest thing though, is that he is leaving for a while. Three weeks from today, he's heading south for Marine's stuff. He's pretty much going to be gone until mid-May or June. A couple of breaks in between, but still. 

It kills me a little inside because last night was such a tease. I knew before I even went over there that he'd be gone for a little while in March, and I knew he didn't want a girlfriend. And before we slept together, I knew that I was going to have to think like a man and be a straight shooter. I'm kicking myself in the butt for getting these feelings for him again, and I'm not going to hold my breath for him to do the same, but he's so special to me.