I am normally a pretty calm and collected person. I can have conversations with just about anybody and I hate a dull moment.
Why is it that when I'm around him or even sending a text message to him, I am so nervous? I'm tongue tied. I feel like my heart is in my throat and I could vomit - and that's not even an exaggeration. It's so weird how somebody can have that kind of effect on me.
Somebody asked me today about him and what "we" are... Which is still unclear. If he meets my best friend this weekend, I'll say we're talking. Regardless, this person asked where he came from and how I feel about him.
Which is now where I will spill my feelings, because I need to get in touch with myself.
I'm not saying I'm in love. I'm not saying that I don't want to be, though. When I was with my ex, I got stuck in a rut of doing things the way he wanted to, which meant no spontaneity, no getting drunk and acting silly, no excitement... I was so used to never doing anything with my significant other that I never really thought anything of it. What I forgot during that time though, was that I like having fun; I like being silly, I like exploring new things, I like being spontaneous, and sometimes, I like doing things and not caring about what other people think.
And with him, I feel like myself again. I feel like I can laugh and open up. I feel like I can dance and sing and drink a warm beer in a hotel room (drunk) without worrying what anybody thinks.
It's funny how one person can make you feel sick to your stomach from too many nerves, as well as something deep enough to say "I feel like myself again."
Why is it that when I'm around him or even sending a text message to him, I am so nervous? I'm tongue tied. I feel like my heart is in my throat and I could vomit - and that's not even an exaggeration. It's so weird how somebody can have that kind of effect on me.
Somebody asked me today about him and what "we" are... Which is still unclear. If he meets my best friend this weekend, I'll say we're talking. Regardless, this person asked where he came from and how I feel about him.
Which is now where I will spill my feelings, because I need to get in touch with myself.
I'm not saying I'm in love. I'm not saying that I don't want to be, though. When I was with my ex, I got stuck in a rut of doing things the way he wanted to, which meant no spontaneity, no getting drunk and acting silly, no excitement... I was so used to never doing anything with my significant other that I never really thought anything of it. What I forgot during that time though, was that I like having fun; I like being silly, I like exploring new things, I like being spontaneous, and sometimes, I like doing things and not caring about what other people think.
And with him, I feel like myself again. I feel like I can laugh and open up. I feel like I can dance and sing and drink a warm beer in a hotel room (drunk) without worrying what anybody thinks.
It's funny how one person can make you feel sick to your stomach from too many nerves, as well as something deep enough to say "I feel like myself again."
No comments:
Post a Comment